I MISS ULTRON.

I miss Ultron.

I shipped the DVD back to Netflix today, and I miss Ultron and the rest of the clowns in the colorful suits. Why? I’m not sure, because I used to think they were just dumb and silly running around in those stupid tight outfits.

I think it’s because they embody the human spirit and trying to do something against impossible odds. Like what we all do in our day-to-day lives. Going to work. Fighting traffic. Then fighting with the morons at work—or forcing ourselves not to fight with the morons at work. It takes every ounce of strength not to snap back at someone—something I’m woefully useless at.

And then there Ultron. I loved James Spader as Ultron’s voice. He was perfect. Evil, with a sense of humor. Just perfect. The script was good. Actually, it was a really great movie. I mean, if I watched it three times, it’s a great movie. There’s definitely something great about it. I’m sure there were a ton of inconsistencies and plot holes that fans saw, and I picked up a few mistakes myself. But I’m thinking of scenes and Ultron’s face, and Tony’s face, and Scarlet and Cpt. America… my God, I used to laugh at Chris Evans in that silly cap. Dumb fucker, running around showing off his tight ass like he wanted to get butt-fucked. But for all that, I miss them. It’s so strange. It’s weird to laugh at someone, and then find yourself missing them.

I don’t care what anyone says. AoU was great. And you know what? It’s good even if you don’t know the comics. Tony Stark didn’t have to suffer that much for his mistake, but still. It was great. And I think what tied it all together so well was Ultron—I mean, Spader. And Ultron’s face wasn’t that bad. It was evil with a funny side and that made it even more evil. It’s too bad he’s gone forever. Vision is, by contrast, just another boring superhero. Hopefully they’ll give him some sort of weird quirk or something to make him interesting. In AoU he was interesting only because Ultron was there.

And I knew what would happen in the end: I knew Ultron would die, and that the Avengers would be preserved. And it still didn’t ruin the flick for me. Maybe those Marvel Studios execs aren’t just a bunch of crack-smoking cunts. Imagine that.

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