The Martian, work, and other related things

Of course they’re not related. I’m just being crazy.

The Martian was a bore. Yeah I know it was nominated a lot. But it’s a fucking bore. Sitting through it was like being in a meeting, and I detest meetings. They make me want to scream and run around the room. Is there anything else that wastes more time per day? It just makes sense that my boss loves them. Back to the movie—sure it was beautifully made, but for all that, it was an utter bore. It’s basically Survivor Man on Mars. I don’t know about you, but I watch movies to see things I’m not likely to do myself. Like Interstellar. It was amazing. It had some cool twists. It’s a lot of fiction. Or maybe not—maybe we *will* one day go through black holes like in the movie. But anyhow, it was crazy and intriguing and the deadly ambition of Dr. Mann injected something interesting enough to keep my attention. The weird artsy stuff at the end felt extremely appropriate and really hit the heart-not sure why, but it certainly felt good. Now The Martian could very well actually happen in a few decades. But as a movie it had zero intrigue. W/o intrigue a movie becomes a bore. This may seem an evil thing to say, but it would’ve had more impact if someone had died. Like Watley. Or, I dunno, one of the other astronauts. But it wasn’t that kind of movie. I’m just mad I wasted 2.5 hours of my life on it and I’ll never get that time back. I’m amazed that the movie was such a hit—either tons of folks are totally interested in Mars and the curiosity drove them to the theaters, or it had one hell of a marketing campaign.

Speaking of meetings—I finally figured out something crucial. In a large corporate institution, no one wants you to make a dent. You can do something truly amazing but you won’t get recognized by it. I’m not complaining – I can always go elsewhere. But I’ve finally realized that I’ll never get recognition for anything I do, even if it’s something huge. No one appreciates a sense of urgency in a big corporation. My boss actually told me: “it would be nice if you weren’t so… gung-ho about your tasks.” It’s like you’re almost expected to turn in shoddy work. WTF??

Oh and we’re living in a hologram. We’re all holograms. We’ll wink out just like in Star Trek. You me and everyone else. The houses we love so much, the cars, everything—they’ll all just vanish, just like that. And yet we sit here agonizing over each and every moment and each and every dollar. Isn’t that stupid? It’s utterly and completely stupid. Agonizing over other people and the dumb stupid shit they do. Letting them influence us day after precious day and just staying in the same place when we know we should have gone, a long time ago. It’s weird. Life is so traumatic, and yet it seems to move so slowly, it’s like the trauma is happening in slow motion, over a period of several years. It takes several years to happen but when it happens, boom! You are suddenly completely and utterly fucked. You see it coming, and yet you do nothing because… because inertia. You’re stuck. And then suddenly one day you’re unstuck but it’s so traumatic. I know why. It’s because you feel sorry for others. You think about others and how you’ll hurt them if you are cold and singlemindedly pursue your goal at their expense. So you try to please them. And then suddenly ten years have gone by and you’re stuck. And it’s no one’s fault but your own. So don’t get stuck! Don’t advance anyone else’s agenda but your own. Be loyal to your own self and your goals. Of course it’s important to be considerate of others, but don’t lose yourself in them. Play the game. But always keep in mind that you’re the core, the center, and that w/o you driving everything, it’ll come to an end. So always keep your goals up front and center. I’ve wasted time but I won’t anymore

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